This Cider was made by the most irrepressible Scundrels and Rogues in the Waipara Valley. The apples were lifted from numerous sites in the dead of the night, and juice was obtained by quietly taking them out back and methodically thrashing them with a sledgehammer. They wer then thrown in the chiller for 4 days to soften them up before being frozen solid just for good measure. After thawing, the juice was hand pressed and then fermented in old oak barrels.
-Warning: Not to be consumed by Narks, Scabs or Good Samaritans.
I like it.